Envy

When I was little my parents used to always tell me about the green eyed monster and for the longest time I was def the green eyed monster! I spent A lot of time being jealous about A lot of things, but after a while I decided their was nothing I could do about it so I was just gonna let it go. And for years that seemed to work but I slowly feel it working its way to the surface, I'm struggling more and more to remind myself that my life is ok the way it is even with my CP! But the  more I see the world the more I want to scream no it's not ok. I know I should feel lucky because I do have it very easy compared to lots of people with the same disorder and a lot times my motto is just move on, but that doesn't seem to be working right now. I can't just seem to let it go! It's like I want to be mad, and I want to be angry. But in reality all I want is to be sane and capable, so that's my goal for the week to figure out where to go to put myself in and on a path to make me sane and capable! I know this is a short post but it's all I got for now I just need to post it outloud put it out there so maybe that would make a difference. But then again only time will tell!